Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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