Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
