You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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