your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
