Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
