did you get engaged???
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
