You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I am morally bankrupt
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
