Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
