i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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