I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
