just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
