she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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