The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize