Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
