Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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