you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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