Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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