Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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