and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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