the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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