I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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