You work out of a Hotel?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can you bring me the toilet please
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
