how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
