i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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