turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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