he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
