Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
