he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
