your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
