; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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