Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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