An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
