y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
