only if we run a train.
done.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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