Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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