Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Blood and glitter go together right?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
