two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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