yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
