Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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