Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
