New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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