Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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