I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
