Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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