He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
