Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
