I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's blow job season.
He better not be in your backpack
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
