you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
