what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize