Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
