I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
there is glitter all over my balls
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
