I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
