I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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