okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
