Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
not ubering you a puppy
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