Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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