Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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