I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize