Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
