I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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