dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
