were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
