First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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