Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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